You know that feeling when something is clearly bothering you but you haven’t identified what it is? When you have zero patience and no ability whatsoever to tolerate the sound of anyone’s voice talking to you? When you feel nauseous, your head throbs as if it’s about to explode, and your eyes just start crying? […]
It’s here! The last day of 2016. If we judge by what we’ve been seeing on social media for weeks, today is a day eagerly anticipated by so very many people, those who can’t wait to kick this year out the door with the hope 2017 will be better. Even before I got sober, one […]
Facebook’s “On This Day” feature has been slaying me lately – so many great reminders of times with family and friends, funny things the kids said back when their voices were tiny and cute, and sad memories of tragic events. While unrelated to death or devastation, today’s post from six years ago has really jolted […]
Last night on the way to hockey practice, my son dropped a bomb. We hadn’t even pulled out of the driveway yet. “Mom, today in health class, we talked about alcoholism,” he said. My son is 12 years old and in seventh grade. I had been wondering when this might come up. Was I ready? […]
Life has been an emotional roller coaster lately. For the past two months at least. One thing after another. Just when I think the chaos and conflict is over, it starts again. Just when I start to breathe, the choking feeling returns. My problems are no more important than anyone else’s. In fact, they’re nowhere […]
University of North Carolina senior Ashton Katherine Carrick recently defined the “aspirational blackout” as “intentionally drinking with the goal of submersing yourself in so much alcohol that you can’t remember what happened and the only vestiges that remain from the night before are the videos on your friends’ phones.” Carrick’s identification of stress as the […]
Ever since I can remember, I have sought out special places I can retreat to when I need to find peace. Those places have always be associated with water. The saltier the better. In early sobriety, those places became exponentially more important to me. Without booze as my “come up for air at the end […]
I completely shocked myself this morning. While I have become increasingly vocal in sobriety, my voice still lives mostly in my writing. Unless, of course, I’m barking orders at my family. Or presenting strategy to clients. In groups of other parents, I tend to sponge up what everyone is saying, bite my tongue if I […]
Even though I abandoned my anonymity more than a year ago when I started using my real name to write about my recovery from alcoholism, I still struggle with my identity. Today, I celebrate 20 months of continuous sobriety. It has not been easy. Some days I’m on cruise control, not even thinking about having […]