Friday, I celebrated seven months of sobriety since my relapse and seven months since I started my “Quit Wining” blog. Seven months is significant – it’s the anniversary I was approaching when I relapsed. Today, I celebrate my 44th birthday. My kids call me “old and a half.” I feel younger and more alive than I have in years.
Looking back, I can’t believe how far I’ve come. My transformation has been incredible. I don’t know if anyone around me can see it the way I do, but I give thanks for it every day. Here are seven things I’ve learned in seven sober months:
- I can do anything sober and, as long as I am sober, I can do anything. Sobriety is freedom I never knew existed. I don’t know how it’s possible, but I continually feel freer and freer.
- Setting intentions is key. It’s more than a to-do list. It’s taking inspired action (thanks, Ellen!) to live authentically and with my best interests in mind.
- Lessons show up. Don’t ignore them. Example: The other day, a snooty woman in a store was nasty and rude to me, making it clear she thought she was better and more important than I was. What was that supposed to make me see? I had been putting everyone else ahead of me and treating myself poorly.
- I have value. There is nothing better than the life I have created and the happiness I have discovered, harnessed, and used to empower myself. I deserve good things and I am worthy. Feeling this way about myself sends a strong external message that I have value.
- Self care is grossly underrated. Every time I think I’m all set and can skip out on doing good things for me, I find out I am wrong. Thankfully, it’s easy to course correct when you know how the navigation system works.
- My relapse made me stronger. I’ve said this before. Had I not relapsed, I’d still be wondering when I could start drinking again — still believing one day I could drink with control, that one day I’d be able to not be an alcoholic. Recently, another momma working on her sobriety called me a “working mom sober inspiration.” Love it! Much better than all the ways I could have been described 16 months ago.
- There’s no reason to hide. And, I don’t want to contribute the the stigma any longer. I’m giving myself a huge birthday present this year. Complete and total freedom to be who I am. No more Emily Crawford. Just me. My name is Laura. Nice to meet you.
Thanks for reading … here’s to the next seven months!
Yes. Self care. Honesty. Deep belief that sober is the right choice.
I’m at 21 months of sobriety. I have no need to drink again. I don’t feel like I am missing anything.
We are the lucky ones! We live every day to its fullest.
Love to read this, Anne! Thanks for reading! XO
Thanks so much for this update! I am 125 days AF and unfortunately where you were pre-relapse. Still thinking that somehow what I’m doing will reset everything and I’ll be ok when I start again so long as I quit for a proper length. From everything I’ve read, I know that’s very very very unlikely if not straight up impossible. I can’t help thinking this way though. I am clearer headed, find that I’m much more emotionally stable, but I pretty much hide in bed all day. Right now, 5:45 on a Sunday, I’m in bed. Have been here all day. I’m happy here, happier than anywhere else. Yesterday I took a 3 mile walk and cleaned the house. Other than that? Bed. Sorry I am dumping a lot here. Any advice appreciated.
You’re doing great! I know you don’t think you are, but every moment you don’t drink is another moment of success and makes you even stronger. I’m no expert and not a professional counselor, but my advice is to get yourself out of bed. I never had the option to hide and I think that continuing the “normal” parts of my life were critical to me building my sober existence. Give yourself one “out of bed” goal per day to start maybe? Sit with your thoughts but find somewhere other than bed to do it? Go to places from where you can draw strength, places that inspire you. I don’t know if this is helpful, but please keep up the great work. Do you have a sponsor or counselor?
Really proud of you and welcome to the show – it’s all about making this the best version of yourself!
Thank you so much, Bren!
I’m really enjoying your blog. Keep it going; your stories are empowering!
Thank you so much, Neal! I promise I will!!
Just approaching seven months myself. Longest I’ve ever gone, still have many times when I want to get wrecked but don’t want to do this seven months again so I won’t be guzzling. Tried a non alcohol beer for the first time last week which may have been a bit daft in hindsight.
Hey, Adam. Congratulations on your sobriety! Doing it allover again is no fun and not any easier the second time around. I’ve been there. I was big into the NA beers and wines last summer, but haven’t had any in more than a year now. Every once in a while I think I might like one, but I realize a mocktail will do just fine. Keep up the strong work!