Sitting with my mug of tea and few minutes of quiet this morning, I am reflecting on the last 12 months. Was it a great year? Certainly not. Was it the worst year on record? Nope. But, oh my hell, it had its moments.
There were lower than low moments when I said, “Not this. How can this be happening? Can this be my fault?” And, so many times I said in response and with a confidence I had no idea even existed, “Challenge accepted.” Some of the challenges were the biggest I have ever faced. But, I know there are even bigger tests to come. I have gratefully tucked away the lessons learned and pray I don’t forget where I put them.
And, there were higher than high moments, times when I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I am so proud I allowed myself to have those moments, that I took the action needed to give them to myself. My former self would have found a way to stay stuck in the crap, convinced I didn’t deserve better.
Through it all, another 365 days alcohol free. Sometimes it was all I could manage. And, I survived by self-soothing with food and sugar. Other times, I thrived and did nothing but the best things for myself. And, that’s the journey. The roller coaster of life. The ride I want to smooth out a little bit more.
The victory comes in knowing I did not once let anything defeat me. I refused to find comfort in my suffering. I refused to let overwhelm consume me. I continued to live with ease, remembering the only way out is through and knowing I was enough at all times.
As the year draws to a close I am once again not making any resolutions. They have never served me. Instead, I am setting intentions. And, for 2019, they are pretty mighty, all embodied by the word I have chosen for the year. My word is plenitude. Very simply, it is abundance but without the excess. It is completeness.
In 2018, things went missing from my life. Things that I know complete me and make me the best version of myself. I got busy making things happen and let go of some personal goals. 2019 is the year I grab it all back and complete myself. Get complete and stay complete. That doesn’t mean I won’t continue to evolve. The completeness I seek is really more foundational, so I can continue building.
I have a list of things that fill me up and make me whole but aren’t yet big enough habits – true lifestyle bedrocks – that they don’t fall by the wayside when chaos strikes. They’re simple. Doable. And I am starting today. Just by carving out the time to write this post vs. let the words die a slow death in the notes app on my phone, I am doing something that completes me (fending off an unexpected barrage of things flying at me this morning just to get this post written has been borderline miraculous).
In 2019, I intend to complete myself by:
- Creating more fun with my family – we are always running in so many different directions, the four of us spend very little time together.
- Walking the dog more – our almost one-year-old pup went through a major pulling stage but with the help of a trainer we are making huge progress.
- Learning (really learning) how to do yoga – I received my first yoga mat for Christmas and I have purchased the six-class SHE RECOVERS YOGA with Taryn Strong video series.
- Eating foods that heal vs. hurt my body – I still tend to over carb, over caffeinate, over dairy, and over sugar in times of crisis and I want to remember to fuel my body, even during the tough times.
- Helping coaching clients achieve their goals – my passion is working with women who want to remove alcohol from their lives and discover the best versions of themselves.
- Writing more – I no longer want to let ideas for blog posts and book chapters sit lifeless on sticky notes or as incomplete thoughts I email to myself or leave in the notes app on my phone.
- And, finally, deciding what to do with my hair. I’m way overdue for color right now and, again, wondering if it’s time to embrace the grey.
These intentions are what pave the road to plenitude for me in 2019. Have you chosen a word of the year? What are your intentions for 2019?