Ever since I can remember, I have sought out special places I can retreat to when I need to find peace. Those places have always be associated with water. The saltier the better. In early sobriety, those places became exponentially more important to me. Without booze as my “come up for air at the end […]
I completely shocked myself this morning. While I have become increasingly vocal in sobriety, my voice still lives mostly in my writing. Unless, of course, I’m barking orders at my family. Or presenting strategy to clients. In groups of other parents, I tend to sponge up what everyone is saying, bite my tongue if I […]
Even though I abandoned my anonymity more than a year ago when I started using my real name to write about my recovery from alcoholism, I still struggle with my identity. Today, I celebrate 20 months of continuous sobriety. It has not been easy. Some days I’m on cruise control, not even thinking about having […]
It’s strange how memory works. Mine isn’t very good these days. Sometimes I seriously wonder if I should start talking with a doctor to find out if I have early onset Alzheimer’s. I’m not kidding. I lost both grandmothers to the horrible disease, and my short term recall has been truly abysmal lately; I can […]
I’m going to put some ugly stuff on here tonight because it’s still fresh and sometimes I think I make my recovery look too pretty. It’s not. Just so you know. But it’s mine. Recovery can be such a roller coaster. Even as I approach 600 days (sometimes I have to count – just to […]
With the kids getting ready to head back to school (my youngest leaves tomorrow for one more week of sleep away camp!), it’s getting to be that time. I actually love the end of summer. I’m not one for heat and humidity. Flip flops, yes. Every single day. But, I want to wear them with jeans, […]
My baby girl is 10 years old today. My sobriety is 18 months strong today. A year ago, I started to think about how I will always share this special day with my daughter. Every year, as we celebrate another year of her life, I will quietly rejoice in another six months of sobriety. Every […]
Dear former lifeguard: I hope the high was worth it. Worth getting fired. Worth any embarrassment. I’m sorry if I got you fired. I assume I did. I’m sorry if I ruined your summer. But, I’ll never be sorry for stepping up and making sure someone sober stood watch over hundreds of beach goers whose […]
What a difference a year makes. Last year, on May 31, I was a hot mess. Kind of. Completely lost, looking for something that was supposed to be right in front of me but wasn’t. That day should have been my one year soberthday. But, I had relapsed almost seven months into my first long-term, […]